Dear Gentle Readers,
It is with a small sigh and a feeling of melancholy that I write to you today. Due to the many demands on my time I will be unable to continue providing unsolicited advice in this column.
While this may be unwelcomed news, I do take comfort in the fact that during the last two years I have tried my best to guide you in the right direction in topics ranging from hoisting a receding chin and putting him in the mood for matrimony, to the appropriate use of winker paint and picking the right tree for you.
Who can say what the future holds. At some point I may return to offer additional nuggets of knowledge. Mayhaps I will find myself advising famous stars and world leaders. Only time will tell.
In the meantime, know that I am appreciative of your loyalty and wish you all the very best in this adventure we call life!
Very best always,